Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Funny Thought: Love Me, Hate Me

There are 2 ways to inflate one's own sense of self-importance. One is to think that people love me. The other is to think that people hate me.  

In reality, I discovered, people just ignore me.

Funny Thought: Daylight Saving Time

I had to wake up early this morning to send my in-laws to the airport.

And then it occured to me, waking up early is my version of Daylight Saving Time.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Funny Thought: Christmas Time

Every year, right about this time, I get annoyed that Christmas happens in late December, right when the weather sucks.  Constantine could have chosen any day of the year to be Christmas Day, but instead of choosing a nice spring or summer day like a good emperor would, he chose December 25th.  Very annoying.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Funny Thought: Stop Sign

A joke my 9-year-old Angel made up:

There was a man who came to a 'Stop' sign.  He stopped for an hour and caused a lot of traffic.  A police officer came by and asked the man, "Why aren't you moving?".  The man replied, "I'm waiting for the sign to say 'go'".

Friday, December 12, 2008

Meng's Orthodox Paradoxes (unfortunately, these are all true about me)

  • I strive hard to be lazy.
  • I'm selfishly compassionate.
  • I desire to not want.
  • Sometimes, I'm not myself.
  • Often, I'm not here, where I am.
  • I actively engage in non-activity.
  • I feel spiritual about my earthly desires.
  • I sometimes fail at failing.
  • I make careless mistakes carefully.
  • I think about non-thinking.
  • Sometimes, my mind is full of nothing.
  • My own arrogance humbles me.
  • I've become a famous unknown.
  • I sometimes pity the more fortunate.
  • I'm so rich I'm working for food.

Funny Thought: Bar

When I go to a bar, I expect to see a bunch of crazy people saying nice things about me. You know, complimentary nuts.