Tuesday, November 29, 2011

All I ask for is 62 billion dollars to buy Disney

Not too long ago, I met with a bunch of nice people from Merrill Lynch.  They said if I hired them as financial advisors, I'd get preferred treatment if I ever needed a loan. So I asked for a loan of $62 billion to buy Disney. They didn't even bother to process my application.

Don't ever trust the bankers who tell you that you are their preferred customer. Sure, they promise the sky, but when you actually ask to borrow $62 billion to buy Disney, they'll just ignore you.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

One moment of insight into impermanence

The Buddha said to Anathapindika:

“In the past, householder, there was a brahmin named Velama. He gave such a great alms offering as this: eighty-four thousand bowls of gold filled with silver; eighty-four thousand bowls of silver filled with gold; eighty-four thousand bronze bowls filled with bullion; eighty-four thousand elephants, chariots, milch cows, maidens, and couches, many millions of fine cloths, and indescribable amounts of food, drink, ointment, and bedding.


“As great as all this might be, it would be even more fruitful if one would develop a mind of loving-kindness even for the time it takes to pull a cow’s udder.

"And as great as all this might be, it would be even more fruitful still if one would develop the perception of impermanence just for the time it takes to snap one’s fingers.”

Bodhi, Bhikkhu (2005-08-10). In the Buddha's Words: An Anthology of Discourses from the Pali Canon (pp. 178-180). Perseus Books Group. Kindle Edition.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Resource allocation fail at a Japanese restaurant

I remember going to a ridiculously expensive Japanese restaurant in Las Vegas.  Usually, I only want to eat sushi at Japanese restaurants but we ended up also ordering noodles because the sushi was insanely expensive while the noodles dishes were merely ridiculously expensive.

After we ordered, the sushi arrived almost immediately, but the noodles took forever to arrive.  Long after we'd finished our sushi, there was still no sign of noodles.  That was especially strange since the 3 sushi chefs were just hanging around not doing anything.  I joked that it must be one of those comic situations where 3 sushi chefs were just hanging around while 1 noodles guy was feverishly working at the back.

Of course, like most things I joke about, this one turned out to be true.  As we were leaving the restaurant, we peeked into the kitchen and there was literally one guy feverishly cooking noodles while the 3 chefs outside were still idling.

It was obvious to me what the boss should have done.  Obviously, he should have made the noodle guy work harder.